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Self Love – Why I DO Love Myself

12 Sep 2022 Leave a Comment

I am going to be honest, I had no idea what self love was before this tumultuous year. Ok I maybe knew what it was not, see my post WHY I DON’T LOVE MYSELF, little did I know how accurate that title actually was.

This last year my life has been thrown into turmoil and change. It’s as if the universe decided to throw every factor at me to see how I could cope. Well, test by fire it was and I had no choice but to walk through the fiery coals of my own shadows to get to the core of myself and learn what it truly means to love myself.

What nobody tells you about learning to love yourself is that making steps towards it can sometimes HURT like hell, feel incredibly alienating and will make you question your entire existence. (Maybe a bit dramatic but that is how it felt)

So what I learnt about self love was how it feels a lot like being REALLY HONEST with yourself, it looks like tapping in to your emotions and your body to FEEL and LISTEN to what is going on in order to make decisions that SUPPORT you and your future self/ideals/goals/values. These decisions often don’t look like what we would expect, and the results of which even less!

What I have found for myself is that loving yourself looks like putting necessary boundaries that validate your emotions and make you feel safe. It looks like speaking your truth even though it’s unpopular and means you could alienate yourself. For me It looked like putting boundaries with people that I love even though my scared inner child did not want to do that, for fear of abandonment or rejection. It looked like distancing myself from people that did not feel emotionally safe to be around, even though this meant also distancing myself from people I like. It looked like having really difficult conversations that felt terrifying but needed to be had to avoid resentment and to validate my own emotions. It looked like the choice to never again try to FIX someone or CHASE anyone, be that friend or lover. It looked very much like a mess and that my whole life was falling apart at some point

During this time of putting difficult boundaries I felt extremely lonely at times, but through this moment of being alone I got to fill that void with my own self love. Which is where self care came in, yoga, meditation, journaling, bubble baths… Now don’t get me wrong I also indulged in self destructive behaviours as well, because I am human and perfectly imperfect, but self destruct doesn’t last (too) long when awareness is present.

Through the emotional turmoil and all the victim ‘poor me’ stories I told myself, I found a way out. Each time I made a decision to validate myself, each time I put a boundary, each time I had that difficult conversation, I built a TRUST with myself that had never been there before. There was a clear feedback loop from my body/emotions to my actions and with each little step more and more confidence in myself was built. Of course this did not happen over night and parts of it felt really rough, but the confidence and knowing I have gained coupled with a real sensation of deep self love, which I can now translate into – ACKNOWLEDGING TRUSTING VALIDATING – gives me a foundation that feels unshakeable.

IF love is an energy and you are giving it away freely without any boundaries or reciprocation, can you see how that devalues the currency of your own self love?

I see it like this, when we are not loving ourselves there is a LOT of outwards energy, as in energy moving away from you. For example, obsessing and worrying about future/past events, people or situations. GIVING your time or energy to things that do not fulfil you OR things you don’t really want to do. Engaging with people that don’t support you or reciprocate your input e.g. friends and people that don’t respect your time and have a TAKER attitude. ALL of these scenarios create a huge amount of OUTWARD energy that is not being returned to you. Cutting out these scenarios from your life frees up so much energy that can be put back in to YOU and this also translates into physical and mental energy!

From my diary, the moment of realisation…

“I finally understand how my energy has been one of chasing and holding on too tight. I couldn’t even understand the concept of ‘Loving Myself’ because my energy was so embroiled in ‘trying’ to gain something. Which ultimately was unknown to me. I already felt like I loved myself but now I am finally starting to understand that energy better. I can see now how that clinging chasing energy kept me stuck in a loop of yearning and lack that made me ungrounded and un embodied. Making me feel as if I needed you to be whole.”

I basically made the decision to take back my energy and pour it all back in to myself. What happened since then….

I am not afraid of rejection, I go after what I want unapologetically AND without expectations because my self worth is not tied to the outcome.

I give LESS AND LESS FUCKS EVERY DAY!! With deepening love and trust in myself I am the only one that needs to have my back, I don’t need to pretend, shrink myself or compromise my values for anyone or anything, and that includes money and work!

I feel more creative, I have more energy for myself that results in more productivity and inspiration.

My intuition is heightened. Through listening to my body and emotions, trusting them and validating them I am able to discern the voice of my intuition clearly.

I have MORE LOVE to give. I have more love and care to give to myself, I have more love to put in to my work, I have more love to give to my friends, my dog, I have more love and compassion for everyone because my cup is over flowing and I give from abundance.

Where in your life can you take your energy back? How can you show yourself some more LOVE and GIVE BACK to YOU what you put out in to the world?

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Kate Wrigglesworth

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This workshop was born from the realisation that as a society we are not taught how to RELAX  in neither our bodies or our minds. So I would like to invite you to my first workshop on Yoga for Tension Release - How to teach your boy and mind to relax.⁣⁣
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In this class we will use a combination of restorative yoga poses, energy medicine techniques, breath work and massage to penetrate the layers of tension that we carry and tap into a deep feeling of wellbeing and relaxation.  Where we can rest our minds in our hearts to hear the true wisdom of our bodies and feel our own unique energy.

Expect lots of satisfying sighs, a feeling of lightness in the body and joints, and new tools for handling tension and stress in your body and mind! ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣
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Sign Up With The Link In the Bio ☝🏻
4 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MASSAGE GLOW LONG AFTER THE MA 4 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MASSAGE GLOW LONG AFTER THE MASSAGE IS OVER!⁣
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1. DON'T make plans for after your massage appointment! Throw away the to do list and feel into the newly found space in your body!⁣🤗
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2. DO the CRAZY DANCE see video for my own personalised brand of crazy dancing! What I mean is add variety into your movement practice, your body wants to shake jump twist and twirl! Give it what it wants without judgement, rules or alignment! ⁣💃
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3. MEDITATE when we switch off the mind we can also learn to consciously let go of tension. Through meditation we can bring presence and awareness to areas of our body that we are holding onto subconsciously.⁣🧘🏻‍♀️
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4. DON'T wait until your next massage to take time for yourself. REST and RESET often, remind yourself that BUSY does NOT equal SUCCESS. YOU can have it ALL and still take an afternoon nap if that's what your body requires! ⁣💆🏼‍♀️
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TRY the CRAZY DANCE and let me know how you feel after, I promise if nothing else you will have a BIG SMILE on your face!! ⁣🤣🤪
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Read the full Blog post on my website! Link in the bioooo ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻
WHY I DON’T LOVE MYSELF ⁣ Ok so I’m here to WHY I DON’T LOVE MYSELF
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Ok so I’m here to end the tainted ‘Self Love’ movement because it appears to me that the ‘Self Love’ movement only exists if you are doing something labeled ‘Good’. It only exists if you are, working out every day, drinking green juices, going for massages and admiring your own body.  Well I say FUCK THAT I don’t want self love if all it looks like is trying to be perfect ALL THE TIME. And I don’t know about you but I sure as hell am not perfect! I am messy, emotional, and forever changing, sometimes from one hour to the next (or minute) ⁣
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Many of us (me included) walk around with this mask on and the appearance of taking care of ourselves. How far does that care extend though? Sure you work out and eat well, but what happens if you feel your yoga/work out didn’t go well? What happens if you don’t work out at all, maybe for weeks! What happens if you eat a whole box of cookies, or don’t get all your work done? ⁣
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These can be times when ‘self love’ does not extend very far, when our own inner voice can be our worst critic. “You should be more advanced in your practice/workout/dance routine by now!” “You will get fat from eating all those cookies” “You are such a failure for not finishing your work” ⁣
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All that negative self talk is the opposite of the love and care we show our bodies when we eat well, move our bodies and do all the things that fill us with joy. And trust me when I say that the negative voice is LOUD and yes your body is listening, the affects of which are reaching far and wide. Anxiety, tension, trouble sleeping, upset digestion, the list is long and even more these conditions themselves keep you in a loop of general un wellness (dis-ease) of the body and soul.⁣ .
Read more of my blog...link in the bio ☝🏻 .
Tell me what you think? Do feel like self love lets you down when the going gets tough?? 💪🏻
ENERGY MEDICINE⁣⁣💫✨ ⁣⁣ A tapping rout ENERGY MEDICINE⁣⁣💫✨
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A tapping routine to boost your energy and strengthen your immune system. This is such a simple and effective exercise that you can do it whenever you feel you need a pick me up or as part of your daily self care routine. Tap each point for about 20 seconds and breathe deeply❣️
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1.K-27 points:⁣⁣
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Located just beneath your collarbones where you might find a small indent.⁣⁣
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🔹Increased energy⁣⁣
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2) Thymus Gland⁣⁣
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The Thymus Gland is located in middle of the chest, centered below the K-27 points.  It's also called the Tarzan Spot.⁣⁣
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BENEFITS:⁣ ⁣⁣
🔹Stimulate your energy system⁣⁣
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3.Spleen Points⁣⁣
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Find the Spleen Points by moving your fingers down from your Thymus, out to your nipples, and straight down beneath your breasts.⁣⁣
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🔹Lift your energy level⁣⁣
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New Moon in Pisces ♓️ 🌚🙌🏻 . Planting New Moon in Pisces ♓️ 🌚🙌🏻
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Planting seeds of intention for this next cycle. Getting clear on ways I would like to grow materially and spiritually. 🌱🦋
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My new moon ritual is to light some candles and an incense clear my mind and write from my heart all the things that I would like to accomplish and also let go of. 💕🌙
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Do you have a new moon ritual? Do you believe in the power of the universe to support you?
The other day I woke up with a feeling of immense The other day I woke up with a feeling of immense gratitude. I realised that I am completely happy with who I am, where I am and what I am doing. I realised that there is beauty in each step of the journey of life and the only thing that gets in my way of feeling this is a bad habit of always looking to the future to some perceived end goal.
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As I looked back over the last few years I realised that life had been a never ending journey of twists and turns and even the dark days had helped me grow in ways that I can’t even explain. .
When I stopped always wanting and wishing and looking to the future, I felt more happiness with all that is, right now!!
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I wrote this affirmation to remind myself to enjoy the ride ✌🏻💕

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