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Knowing Your Worth

17 Oct 2022 Leave a Comment

On my Self Love Journey, that I am taking you all along on the ride for, I asked all you lovelies of The Gram what part of Loving Yourself do you struggle with most. The OVERWHELMING response was ‘Knowing Your Worth’

When I first saw this I thought, oh fuck me too, realising that I had not quite climbed that hurdle in my own journey. Well turns out The Universe doesn’t take too long to deliver and lucky me got to live out some wonderful lessons on Self Worth. Thanks Full Moon, thanks life!!!

Self Worth is a tricky one to pin down because it is inextricably linked with the way we speak to ourselves, our boundaries, limiting beliefs (beliefs we have picked up through society and family) and how we deal with our emotions.

Unworthiness stems from a  lack of connection with our own emotions a lack of validating big emotions by rationalising, disassociating and numbing them away, giving your body/brain the signal that parts of you are not good enough and should be hidden. Not feeling safe to express all of who you are.

Here are some things that came up for me while contemplating How To Know Your Self Worth in no particular order.

LET GO OF PERFECTIONISM – Firstly no one and nothing is perfect, we are all imperfectly perfect that is what makes us human. Holding yourself to unrealistic expectations out of fear of not being perfect is subconsciously  affirming that you are not good enough exactly as you are and that mistakes somehow make you unlovable.

LET GO OF ‘SHOULDS‘ – Check in with your body before making decisions tapping into its signs and signals, doing things just because you think you SHOULD (or to get someone’s attention or to be more loved or to look good) is BETRAYING yourself. You are telling yourself that your worth is based on outside expectations that must be fulfilled regardless of your true feelings. Also I SHOULDN’T feel this way is another trap of betraying yourself. You feel the way you feel so trying to convince yourself otherwise is just another way of diminishing your worth and invalidating your emotions.   

LET GO OF LIMITING BELIEFS – Ok this one is not so easy because first you have to identify a belief as LIMITING. Example “I am too old to change career” First what is ‘too old’ second where did you get this belief from, do you really believe it?ETC (Top tip look at your beliefs around money to find many limiting beliefs) Limiting beliefs HOLD YOU BACK you from knowing your true worth, that’s why they are limiting obvs!

LET GO OF NEGATIVE SELF TALK – Watch out for negative self talk that puts you down. ‘Oh I am so stupid’ ‘I am useless’ Your body is listening and you are literally AFFIRMING to yourself that you are worthless.

OBSERVE YOUR JUDGEMENTS – Judging others is just a reflection of yourself. Watch your judgements closely and see if it can show you false ideas you have about yourself and maybe where you don’t allow yourself to be all of who you are. Conversely let your judgements also show you which situations/places/people are unaligned with your true values so you can set boundaries.

VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS/EXPERIENCES – When you are angry feel the anger, when you are sad feel the sadness. Re affirm and tell your self you are safe to feel whatever it is you are feeling and that your feelings are  ALWAYS VALID.

SET BOUNDARIES – Setting boundaries IS part of ‘Knowing Your Worth’ they go hand in hand. Through knowing our worth and valuing ourselves boundaries come naturally in all areas of life. (Even if it does feel scary) From the other way around setting boundaries can help you feel more self worth, even if after setting the boundary it doesn’t feel great, that’s growth.

I believe that many of us fail to affirm our worth because we are afraid of the consequences of doing so. For example, as soon as I know how I want to be treated in my friendships, if a friend is not able to treat me well, I have no option but to walk away. If I know I am working for too little money, I have no option but to find a new job or raise my prices/ask for a raise. All of these actions threaten the status quo of our lives, they shake the foundations and ask us to take risks that are UNCOMFORTABLE and that have UNKNOWN OUTCOMES. The ego and the mind hate not knowing, they want control and known outcomes. That is why I believe it is SO difficult for some of us to know our worth and act on it, because we know we are WORTHY OF SO MUCH and to affirm it means shaking all the foundations of life and that shit can be SCARY.

BUT Here we are full circle back to SELF LOVE! If we are able to love ourselves wholly then to shake the foundations of life might be scary but ultimately we have our own backs, and the risk is worth it if it means building stronger foundations that are able to better support us through life. When we love ourselves enough to nurture ourselves through situations that feel risky, but that ultimately will make our lives better by giving us confidence and self trust, we align ourselves with how we truly want to experience life. 

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Kate Wrigglesworth

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WORKSHOP 16/11 This workshop was born from the re WORKSHOP 16/11

This workshop was born from the realisation that as a society we are not taught how to RELAX  in neither our bodies or our minds. So I would like to invite you to my first workshop on Yoga for Tension Release - How to teach your boy and mind to relax.⁣⁣
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In this class we will use a combination of restorative yoga poses, energy medicine techniques, breath work and massage to penetrate the layers of tension that we carry and tap into a deep feeling of wellbeing and relaxation.  Where we can rest our minds in our hearts to hear the true wisdom of our bodies and feel our own unique energy.

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WHY I DON’T LOVE MYSELF ⁣ Ok so I’m here to WHY I DON’T LOVE MYSELF
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Ok so I’m here to end the tainted ‘Self Love’ movement because it appears to me that the ‘Self Love’ movement only exists if you are doing something labeled ‘Good’. It only exists if you are, working out every day, drinking green juices, going for massages and admiring your own body.  Well I say FUCK THAT I don’t want self love if all it looks like is trying to be perfect ALL THE TIME. And I don’t know about you but I sure as hell am not perfect! I am messy, emotional, and forever changing, sometimes from one hour to the next (or minute) ⁣
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The Thymus Gland is located in middle of the chest, centered below the K-27 points.  It's also called the Tarzan Spot.⁣⁣
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Find the Spleen Points by moving your fingers down from your Thymus, out to your nipples, and straight down beneath your breasts.⁣⁣
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New Moon in Pisces ♓️ 🌚🙌🏻 . Planting New Moon in Pisces ♓️ 🌚🙌🏻
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Planting seeds of intention for this next cycle. Getting clear on ways I would like to grow materially and spiritually. 🌱🦋
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My new moon ritual is to light some candles and an incense clear my mind and write from my heart all the things that I would like to accomplish and also let go of. 💕🌙
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Do you have a new moon ritual? Do you believe in the power of the universe to support you?
The other day I woke up with a feeling of immense The other day I woke up with a feeling of immense gratitude. I realised that I am completely happy with who I am, where I am and what I am doing. I realised that there is beauty in each step of the journey of life and the only thing that gets in my way of feeling this is a bad habit of always looking to the future to some perceived end goal.
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As I looked back over the last few years I realised that life had been a never ending journey of twists and turns and even the dark days had helped me grow in ways that I can’t even explain. .
When I stopped always wanting and wishing and looking to the future, I felt more happiness with all that is, right now!!
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I wrote this affirmation to remind myself to enjoy the ride ✌🏻💕

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